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Struggling Mother Seeks Guidance for Unruly 4-Year-Old Following Nursery Admission

Struggling Mother Reveals Child's Intensifying Temper Tantrums and Seeks Guidance as Behavior Worsens Both at Home and Preschool

Mother Seeking Guidance on Managing Unruly 4-year-Old Son Following Enrollment in Nursery School
Mother Seeking Guidance on Managing Unruly 4-year-Old Son Following Enrollment in Nursery School

Struggling Mother Seeks Guidance for Unruly 4-Year-Old Following Nursery Admission

In a bid to maintain a safe and harmonious home environment, a concerned parent, we'll call them the OP, is seeking advice. Their 4-year-old son, since joining a new nursery, has been exhibiting uncontrollable behaviors such as flipping tables, spitting, hitting, scratching, and frequent meltdowns. At home, the situation hasn't improved, with the son smashing items, clashing with his sibling, wrecking his room, and even peeing on himself in protest.

This behavioral pattern, according to experts, may be a sign of neurodivergence. Netizens have suggested that the nursery may not be the right environment and recommended considering alternatives. They emphasize the need to move away from strict sanctions, as they appear ineffective for neurodivergent children.

AutPlay Therapy, a method that supports neurodivergent children, offers a promising approach. This therapy helps children control extreme behavior and improve emotional regulation through creative tools to organize thoughts, breaking tasks into manageable steps, reflection functions to understand behavior, practical tips, and visual/auditory reminders that aid focus and reduce forgetfulness.

Emora Health, a leading organisation in childcare, supports this approach. They emphasize that supporting neurodivergent children involves reinforcing positive behaviors, minimizing attention to minor misbehaviors, establishing routines, clear expectations, teaching emotional regulation, and social skills. Punishments, they argue, often backfire, leading to more defiance or new ways of acting out.

Keywell, a child psychologist, adds that punitive strategies do not work for neurodivergent children because they fail to consider the neurological differences driving their behavior. Instead, he suggests focusing on understanding the child's unique needs and finding strategies that cater to those needs.

The OP has tried various punishments like time outs, screen bans, toy confiscation, and withdrawing attention, but they have not been effective. The waiting list for speech, language, and neurodevelopmental assessments can stretch up to two years, leaving the OP in a challenging situation.

As the OP navigates this challenging phase, it's essential to remember that patience, understanding, and a shift in approach can make a significant difference in supporting neurodivergent children. The journey may be long, but with the right tools and strategies, it can lead to a more harmonious and understanding home environment for everyone involved.

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